By Ollus Ndomu
In a world marked by changing norms and evolving dynamics, the intricacies of relationships have become a topic of great interest. Amidst the highs and lows, love and heartache, this week’s SPOTLIGHT delves into a thought-provoking discussion on repulsive toxic traits, as shared by individuals from diverse backgrounds in Nigeria, Zambia, Kenya, and Rwanda.
In his submission to The Spotlight, John Adekunle, a married man from Lagos, Nigeria, candidly reflects, “Poor communication has been a significant hurdle. Sometimes, my wife assumes I know what she’s thinking, and it leads to misunderstandings.”
For Chanda Mulenga, a single man from Lusaka, Zambia, “False social media popularity is a concern. Some women portray an unrealistic image online, which can be off-putting when you meet them in person. Also, some women are unnecessary friendly to men online. Imagine the girlfriend I recently dumped, she could freely post other men on her timeline but funny enough, these guys never ever bothered to even comment despite being tagged…… Quite disheartening.”
On the flip, Grace Mwende, a single mother from Nairobi, Kenya, shares, “Validation-seeking behavior can be toxic. It’s essential to be self-assured and not rely solely on external approval.”
Marie Uwimana, a married woman from Kigali, Rwanda, opines, “Nurturing a relationship is a shared responsibility. It’s crucial not to fall into traditional gender roles that may hinder mutual growth.”
Across the board, concerns were also raised about the impact of excessive dating experiences on building meaningful relationships.
John noted, “When someone has been in numerous relationships, it might signal commitment issues or an inability to settle down.”
Chanda emphasized, “Constantly jumping from one relationship to another might suggest a lack of willingness to work through challenges. It’s important to address issues instead of just moving on.”
Grace added, “Excessive dating experiences can sometimes lead to comparison and unrealistic expectations. Being fully present in a relationship becomes a challenge.”
Marie concluded, “While dating experiences can provide valuable lessons, it’s crucial to find a balance between exploring connections and investing in a genuine, lasting partnership.”
As we traverse the landscapes of Nigeria, Zambia, Kenya, and Rwanda, a universal truth emerges – fostering healthy relationships requires self-awareness, empathy, and mutual respect. By acknowledging and addressing toxic behaviors, individuals can create lasting bonds built on trust and understanding.
In the end, whether navigating the vibrant streets of Lagos, the scenic landscapes of Lusaka, the bustling city of Nairobi, or the tranquil beauty of Kigali, the journey towards healthier relationships is a universal pursuit – one that transcends borders and enriches lives. Thank you for reading this week’s SPOTLIGHT; catch me next week with yet another interesting cross-country conversation.
