By: Maglorious Mwansa
Statistics show that more men commit suicide every year compared to women. Growing up, a man is taught to be tough, to not show emotions as this is a sign of weakness. A man is taught to be a provider no matter what.
A man is taught to endure adversities no matter how much they break him in the inside. Sadly, for most men who do not open up about their vulnerability, they tend to have pending issues within them; they tend to be angry at life and generally at people. These are people who later on go and commit heinous crimes and most of them are either killed or jailed. Even then, society is first to condemn without understanding what really led them to committing those atrocities so that in future, such things can be avoided. But instead, men are caged!! It’s really hard to be a man in a world judgemental as this one. Those that are able to open up are still very skeptical about the whole opening up because society will use their vulnerability to torment them. 90% won’t care about what a man is going through and the other 10% are glad a man is going through issues.
With the coming of social media, every single day, you come across posts that belittle men especially if a man is not even working. He will be called all sorts of names and even if he is trying his best to organize his life, his efforts mostly go unnoticed. That’s a sad ordeal. Worse off if a man happens to be the first born in the family, expectations are so high and if he fails to be successful, no one gives him the respect, not even his own family. It’s hard to be a man in a world that has so many judgemental people. It is really hard to be a man.
Allow me to end with this story….. A man who for so many years wanted to make it in the acting industry couldn’t because everyone used to shut the door on him. No body wanted to hire him despite being extremely capable and qualified. They laughed at his ideas, creativity and what not. All his younger siblings went on to be successful whereas for him, he remained the same.
One day, he was asked to paint a picture depicting of his greatest hero and he painted a picture of his mother; with a deliberate intent to make this depiction of his mother to appear really big whilst Carrying a big pot on her head and on her left hand, she was carrying a basket of foodstuff and on her right hand, she held her three children who looked to be between the ages of 11 to 15 respectively.
Surprisingly enough, in the painting she is carrying what looks like a baby on her back who happens to be the man who was asked to make a depiction of his greatest hero.
When he was called to the front to explain his painting and why he made himself the youngest of the four children in the picture when in fact, he was the oldest, this is what he had to say, “I deliberately made myself look younger than my siblings and also deliberately made myself to be on my mother’s back for two particular reasons: the reason I appeared the youngest in the picture is to tell you all that of the four children my mom has, I’m the least successful; I chose a depiction of my mother putting me on her back because in reality, she’s the only person that has been consistent in my life even when I failed at anything, she was always there for me. She never judged me or scolded me, she always supported and encouraged me and at the same time even provided for us even when she was sick, hurting, she still made sure my siblings and I had something to eat. Sometimes, she had to travel long distances on foot just to find something for us to eat or something to pay for our school fees. I can tell you today that my mother is my greatest hero and I wish society saw every man the way a mother sees her son thank you! “
The whole time he was explaining this, the man was crying throughout. When emotions are bottled up, the end results are mostly not good. Society will produce angry and bitter men.
Society needs to learn that a man is allowed to cry. It’s not a sign of weakness but rather an indication that someone is human and has emotions! Mwamuna amalila!
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